I won’t survive the end of days

A friend remarked to me once that I’d either be “Patient Zero” or I’d win the whole damn thing.  That was before my allergy.

I won’t survive a war.  I won’t survive a zombie apocalypse.  I won’t survive the end of days.  Not for lack of trying, not for lack of food, but for lack of food that I can eat.

I can guarantee that 95% of the non-perishable food out there contains onions or onion-powder.


I’m a crack-shot, I can camp, I know first aid, I know some basic survival skills.

I would die of starvation.



I’ve been re-watching the early episodes of The Walking Dead.  I could do everything they’ve had to do… but I’d be eating grass and bark.

Keep me safe Rick!





I’m Not Allergic To Onions

coffeeI haven’t known how to write this.  I’ve known for a couple of months.  But it hasn’t made anything better — in fact, everything has become worse.

As I sit here drinking my morning coffee in my favourite chair, out of my favourite mug, I’m hoping I won’t die today.

This has probably been one of the most trying weeks of my life.  Last Wednesday, I had a MAJOR reaction (see post here).  The smell went away some time over 24 hours later.  I burned candles to hide the smell, kept doors closed, fans off, and door jambs covered.  I bubbled my self as best I could.  I was Bena-drunk™ for days! (Bena-drunk™ (definition: being hopped up on Benadryl and in a constant state of sleepy stupor – but not dying).  My frickin’ gums even itched.  It was bad.

Apparently the effects of the allergic reaction have been lurking under the surface for the past 6 days.  Sunday night, the roof of my mouth and my tongue began burning – as if I had literally burned it.  I woke up Monday morning unable to breathe.  It felt like a respiratory cold.  My youngest woke up with a cold, so I figured that this was my version of it.  Then my tongue began to swell (on top of the burning).  I started taking Benadryl and Tylenol.  The burning moved to my throat. I took more Benadryl and took a nap.

I woke up and the roof of my mouth had swollen.  Time to go to Emerge.  I drove myself over to the hospital ER.  The Triage Nurse asked me what was going on.  My reply: “I don’t know”.

Side Bar – The Negative Tests

The allergy skin test from July… all zeros.  I’m not allergic.  I took a blood test, which tested onions and garlic.  Nothing.


In the bottom corner there is a note to try a challenge.  Instead of spending another $30 on doing it in office, I put on my stupid big-girl socks and did one at home… because I’m awesome.

I swelled, itched, burned, suffered for a good 48 hours.  I could NOT get the taste out of my mouth, no matter what I tried.  I burped it for 12 hours.  The sliver of onion was literally the size of my wee finger nail.  I’M FRICKIN’ ALLERGIC TO SOMETHING IN ONIONS!!!!

I talked with my Family Doctor.  She thought that maybe I could be allergic to sulphites.  My allergist said that he cannot test for Sulphites.  So we are ASSUMING that I’m allergic to sulphites.  (read my suspicion here).

Sulphites naturally occur in onions and several other foods. (look here)

Back to Reality

I presented at the ER last night with the following symptoms:

  • swelling of tongue and mouth
  • burning of tongue and mouth
  • shortness of breath
  • trouble swallowing

I could not say for sure that it was an allergic reaction, because there was no rash or hives.  I thought it might be viral or an infection, hence my “I don’t know” answer to the Triage Nurse.

The ER doctor gave me some Zantac and Prednisone and watched me.  The Zantac was for the BURNING STOMACH ACID that was all over my tongue and mouth.  This eventually subsided so that the pain was not as great.  The Prednisone is standard issue for an allergic reaction and tackles the swelling.

About an hour later, my burning and swelling orifice went from a 7/10 to a 3/10.  The swollen trachea/throat/esophagus went from a 10/10 to a 4/10.  So I was “better”.  I was sent home with a 2-day course of Prednisone and I picked up some extra Zantac.


I just popped the first dose of my 2-day dose of Prednisone.  Let the good times roll.


Some Good Reads:

Am I Allergic to Onions & Garlic if I Am Allergic to Sulfa Antibiotics?

Sulfites and Chronic Disease



One of the most frustrating things in the world is being trapped.


Here I am sitting in my favourite chair (Ikea Poang!) and binge-watching old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, minding my own business.

My nose starts itching.  My skins starts crawling.  My head starts swimming.  My nose starts running. A rash appears on my neck.  It’s getting hard to breathe.

Then it hits me.  The most acrid foul smell.  Cooking onions.

I went pee.  My bathroom has essentially been hot-boxed with an onion smell.

I have 2 options.  Drug myself with Benadryl and sleep through it.  Or leave the house.  LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE!


I am trapped.  Trapped in a Benadryl-coma, or trapped in that I’m at the mercy of others’ actions.

As I scratch every inch of my skin, throw back 3 Benadryl and curse my fucking neighbours – I guess I’ve made my decision.


You’ll want to put this sh!t on everything

WHAT IS THAT?!  ↓↓↓↓↓  I’ll tell you?


My husband is constantly trying to find ways to accommodate my allergy.  He’s always concocting copy-cat recipes and the like.  His new mission is barbecue sauce.

I was never a huge fan of barbecue sauce, because I don’t like the sweetness.  He came up with this Memphis-type bbq sauce, which should be tangy, rather than sweet.  I was game.

It was magic.  I would like to put it on EVERYTHING!  I would like to bathe in it.  I would like to drink it.  I would like to marry it.

So here it is:

Tessier’s Tangy BBQ Sauce

  • ½ cup of Ketchup (I use President’s Choice ketchup – no onion powder)
  • ¼ cup lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp mustard (we used French’s)
  • 1 tbsp black pepper
  • 1 tbsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp cayenne pepper
  • 1 tsp crushed red pepper (the HOT kind)
  • ¼ tsp celery seed
  • 2 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 tsp salt

Combine all ingredients in a small sauce pot and whisk slowly and consistently for 10-15 minutes.  We use an old ketchup bottle to store the leftovers in the fridge.  Yields approximately ½ a ketchup bottle. 😉




Italian Salad Dressing is REAL!

Every now and then I stop in the salad dressing aisle at the grocery store.  I read labels.  I guess it’s worn off on my eldest daughter, because she said she does the same too!  That’s my girl!

While at Walmart this past weekend, she stopped in the salad dressing aisle as I cruised on by.  And she found this:


I died.  I have missed normal Italian dressing.  It was always my most favourite salad dressing.  For EONS I ate salad with NO dressing.  Then in college I discovered Italian dressing.

I wouldn’t let go of the bottle.  I carried that thing around Walmart for a good hour like it was my wee baby.

Here’s the lo-down:

This dressing tastes sooooooo good!  And to boot, everything is all natural, GMO-free, and Vegan friendly.

Here’s is Chef Drew’s website.  There are tonnes more products available and it also takes you to a website where you can purchase online.  Outstanding!

I am in heaven!

The Allergy Test & The Doritos Dilemma

I’ve recently thought about things that I still miss or want to have one last time.  I narrowed it down to two things: Hotdogs and Doritos.

Last week I went in for an allergy test.  I brought samples of Leek, Scallion, regular onion and regular garlic.  All the nurse did was try to get juice on the tiniest, shittiest lancet, rubbed it on my forearm skin, and made a little poke with the lancet – hoping the juice would go into the hole.  It did not work.  My skin was burning and the smell made me want to die (I was sneezing, nose was runny, eyes burning).  The test came back completely negative.  Completely.  Apparently I’m not allergic to the onion family.  IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!  PRAISE HOMER J. SIMPSON!


My other options to prove the onion paternity was to take a blood test (which I did – takes about 2 weeks for results) and do a “challenge” wherein I go to the Immunologist office, ingest the offending onion, and see what happens.  <– this is where science has gotten us?

So, with my new found “immunity” to onions I started feeling willy-nilly.

Last night I saw this photo:


… and all I could think was: “Fuck I want some Doritos”.  I knew we had some Doritos in the house.  So I grabbed some.  I had about 10 of them.  They were absolutely fucking disgusting.  They tasted like garbage – not at all cheesy.    I was wildly disappointed.


Even though I’ve been “miraculously cured of my anaphylactic onion allergy” my throat membrane still swelled to an uncomfortable state.

Just add Benadryl.

This morning I woke up with a sore stomach, mucus in my throat and a sore scratchy throat.  I feel like I swallowed a slimy scratchy Brillo pad.

Yep, completely immune — JUST AS I SUSPECTED!

onion slide

Science!  Using Comic Sans since 2005!

So, I’m waiting on the blood test results.  The Immunologist said that they may be able to test me for onion and garlic allergy.  He’ll call me with results.


Until then…

Pizza Hut Menu…


We got a Pizza Hut flyer in the mail yesterday, and it reminded me of years gone by when my husband and I would work nights and have stuffed crust Pizza Hut for supper… it was the only pizza joint in town.  It was soooooooo gooooooood!

Of course, living in a big city now, we have a million choices of pizza.  So I checked it out.

I live by a no fly in a spices or seasonings zone. I just don’t chance it.  It’s up to you, but I wouldn’t.  I’ll leave the information here for you to peruse.

Pizza Hut CANADA – ingredients listing

Pizza Hut USA – ingredients list

Be safe.  Always research!